Ben: Mommy, I found a pretzel in the couch!!!
Me: Don't eat it!!!
Ben: Why not?
Ben: Mommy, will you give me money if I do stuff for you?
Me: I suppose so, like what?
Ben: Like give you a hug & a kiss?
Edited to add tonight's:
Ben: Remember, in San Antonio, those 100s of guys fought a battle? They died there and were turned into the statues!